Hello Capitalism!

I have to admit I am guilty of of confirmatory bias here. But here’s exactly what I have been trying to say all the time – money dehumanizes the human spirit.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/27/rich-people-_n_1305008.html

I won’t forget the day someone of higher authority (whom I had deep respect for) scoffed when I said money was evil. Using perfectly intact reason and logic, here is the evidence you challenged me to provide. When genuine passion is measured with money and power, it does nothing to uplift it. It only dehumanizes the human spirit.

Hello Capitalism!

The Pill

The Pill comes nicely packaged with a fabulously enticing label that reads “Eat Me”. The efficacies of the Pill are unknown but rumor has it that it makes you feel better instantly. To eat or not to eat. The head says give it a try, what’s the worst outcome? You just get sick and you will get all better tomorrow. Just give it a shot. The heart is not so sure. Something is not right but you don’t know what’s wrong.

There are just so many things in our Capitalistic world that are just like the Pill. They offer instantaneous relief and so many of us jump onto the bandwagon. The promise of better days ahead is just so alluring. The pictures painted in our heads are always rosy, never dark and stormy. We always ask what does the Pill do; rarely do we ask what are the side-effects. For every one bad thing, we can think of five good things. That’s how our minds work – aversion to negativity.

Here comes the next part, the Pill makes you better but it also makes you ill. Run as you want, before you know it, you have become addicted to the Pill. How can you be drunk yet sober? How do you know you haven’t been addicted to the Pill already? Have you? Are you?

The Good Witch and The Bad Witch

I like Wicked!, not for the singing and dancing, but for the story. Musicals have this really predictable theme in their stories. Usually the good triumphs over the evil. With Wicked!, you are just not so sure.

So is the good witch really good and is the bad witch really wicked? The evil witch looked like she was fighting a battle, a battle of David vs Goliath, one which she was doomed to lose but appeared to have the power to conquer. Was she really powerful? Was she really doing it for the greater good, or was she just lost, as lost as the good witch?

Are the good people who follow the rules, follow the norms necessarily good? Should they fight these norms; should they speak up against them even though they know what is the truth? Are people who fight norms necessarily bad? Can people who follow rules, who go with the flow be actually bad? Is the truth the best medicine in our half-confused, half-drunken state? Are we all fully conscious of what we are doing, or are we all just lost in this world, not knowing and hoping that life offers us first-class tickets in this journey?

I have been angry, sad, jealous, envious, greedy all at the same time. The riot of such emotions suck. I thought I had been humble, but truth be told, life has never been more humbling that the last couple of years. It has been so tough on the spirits, I wish I was drunk more often. Being drunk made me sober.

Do I see goodness? I’m not so sure. The seemingly good has its evil moments; the seemingly bad has its moments of goodness. Where does this leave us? Be good and bad, all at the same time. Life is not going to offer you first-class cabin tickets all the time. You want it? Earn it. Be it to beg, borrow, steal or earn it through sheer hard work. At the end of the day, don’t look back in anger. Cos being angry, sad, envious doesn’t help an inch. What helps is what you have – be it experiences, things, money, love, friends, knowledge. No one will stop to say what a poor thing you are. People will just scorn you if you just don’t fit in their definition of goodness or their definition of being successful. You make your own definition of success and you live with it. If you hate what you have, either change your thoughts or choose new goals.

I just remembered two things I learnt from school which I forgot – people have an aversion towards loss and a better memory for misfortunes. Emotions towards loss and misfortunes make these memories more painful and memorable.

I see Season 2 of Reason vs Emotion. To cut the chase, I have decided - R.I.P. to all these shtick. I’m just going to start my happy list. I may seem like I’m in denial but I know all I am trying to do is to re-wire my mind and body, which seem to be failing me of late (pun unintended).

To end off, just a few quotes from the week, which seemed to be speaking to me in their own ways:

“Never resist a temporary inconvenience if it results in a permanent improvement.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.” – Hugh Miller

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius

And finally: ”Trust your intuitive heart.” – Richard Carlson

I have leapt. Just patiently, waiting, now.

Different steps henceforth

Just hit me that my life hastily be forever altered. I can no longer wear cheap pretty shoes, Birks are going to be memories. I have been banished to the land of ugly, well-supported shoes for the elderly. All thanks to my feet condition. Just realised that probably very few people have this condition on both feet. I’m one of the lucky few and at my age. Wonder why I don’t have such luck with the lottery.

Was just looking at all the shoes people wore this afternoon. I don’t wear the dangerously skinny stilettos nor the menacingly high platform heels/wedges. Yet those guys who balance themselves precariously on these modern day shoes have the good fortune of normal feet. Such is life – some guys just have all the luck.

So here I am, stuck with the nightly stretching exercises and hot-cold therapy and collapsing arches on both feet. And I’m not even a fast runner! Damn.

Somedays I feel sorry for myself, my life feels like a soap opera with obstacles after obstacles. Yet I just have to get up after each fall, coax myself to walk on. They say what doesn’t kill you make you stronger. I say what doesn’t kill you instantly kills you slowly; just like how i’ll be needing those feet aids from now.

measuring up

so here i am, at the crossroads, again, for the umpteenth time.

somedays i get increasingly frustrated by my frequent stops at the crossroads; many days, i wonder what i have done to deserve such bad luck; and just on those remaining few days, i wonder why my life is fraught with adventures (pun totally intended!).

in spite of this all, i guess i have been forced to grow up much faster than my peers. somedays i am struck with pangs of resentment, envy and jealousy, that i have to admit. yet i guess to a certain extent, i have been forced to confront with some existentialism issues which i guess they haven’t had time to think about (since they have been so preoccupied with other things in life).

either i have learnt to accept that there can’t be a “perfect life” – something gotta give; or i have learnt to convince myself of the “lies” i have weaved for myself to make sense of my experiences. whatever it is, i think i’m happier to know that i have simplified my life a fair bit by taking myself out of the rat race and learning to appreciate the other things in life. and most importantly, i have learnt not to measure myself and my “achievements”.